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As a fitness enthusiast, it can sometimes be difficult to find the right balance. Sometimes it can be wise to ask yourself: “How important are those muscles really?”. Temptation Island provided a painful example.
Temptation Island
Actually, I had already stopped watching Temptation Island. All those decent people who are faithful to their partners, damn boring of course. But yesterday I ended up hanging around when I was zapping and came across the repeat.
During the last bonfire, Sidney was shown images in which his girlfriend Demi clearly indicated that she was not looking forward to the reunion with her boyfriend. Sidney didn’t understand. After all, he hadn’t done anything with the temptresses on his island. So he had no idea why his girlfriend would say something like that. Unfortunately, Sidney had forgotten that just as many men on Temptation Island mess up with their mouths as with their dicks. And I’m not talking about oral sex. Sidney had apparently totally forgotten that in (some of his many) drunken stupors, he said some rather stupid things. Think of derogatory things about his girlfriend and a confession that he had slept with 76 women.
In Sidney’s eyes, he had therefore done nothing that could explain or justify these statements from his girlfriend. Nothing that he could remember anyway.
What followed was an explosion followed by a meltdown, both with a high cringe factor. It was painful and awkward to watch. That pathetic Sidney pounding his chest like King Kong ‘to drown out the pain of his heart’. Let’s just say that the action-drama ratio this season is quite skewed.
If your shape is the most important thing
In the hysterical flood of self-pity, anger, and (admittedly well-executed) imitations, however, a few remarks came along that point to a condition I have addressed before: Muscle dysmorphia. If it doesn’t ring a bell, terms like ‘reverse anorexia’ or ‘Adonis complex’ are often used to describe a similar set of mental issues.
In muscle dysmorphia, it comes down to disproportionately focusing on the amount of muscle mass you have. In the article on muscle dysmorphia, I discuss research that has attempted to further define and demonstrate this mental state. Something that is quite difficult given that ‘disproportionate’ is a subjective term in this context.
Who determines when dedication turns into obsession?
Back to that balance again?
The problem with the presumed muscle dysmorphic is that they themselves are no longer able to determine this rationally and objectively. That border that was very clear when you first picked up your weights seems to be getting further and further away as you progress. Like a mountain on the horizon.
That’s why I’ve always tried to look at myself critically. Sometimes a bit exaggerated, but usually reflecting as honestly as possible. “How much time, money, and energy am I investing in developing muscle mass? What would it have brought me if I had invested it in other activities? What would it ultimately have meant for how happy I am?”
Because that seems to me the ultimate yardstick: happiness.
If you start translating hours and euros into grams of muscle mass, that can sometimes be very relativizing.
I have often written about finding the balance in fitness and bodybuilding. That it is so difficult to determine what the right balance is, even before you can find it. That’s why it’s so nice when you are presented with a clear example of a missing balance. At least, when the priorities seem at least remarkable.
“I’ve become completely small!”
The biggest fear of a true muscle dysmorphic is, of course, the loss of built-up muscle mass. Vacations are booked within a 1-kilometer radius of a gym. Local sources of protein are explored in advance. But Temptation Island is of course not a normal vacation. That fear of what your partner is doing on the other side, the effort to resist the temptresses. You can already see your cortisol levels rise and your muscle mass break down.
It probably also seems weird if you skip the dream date for a visit to a Thai gym. So you’ll just have to accept that it will all be a bit less for two weeks. But that’s not easy.
And that became clear last night. Sidney was shown footage of his girlfriend Demi indicating that she was not looking forward to their reunion.
The tirade that followed has already been somewhat described above, except for the statement that is the direct reason for this article:
“I’m completely destroyed. I’m wrecked.
My hair is probably not right.
I’ve become completely small”
Sidney
Uncertain Sidney
To make it clear that he meant this last one literally and not as a metaphor, he raises his arms. Probably to show with a front double bicep pose how many gains he has lost, but halfway through he decides against it. Possibly because he realizes that this pose doesn’t make much of an impression now that he has ‘become completely small’.
Then Sidney gets back on topic:
“I’m having such a hard time with this. My heart is broken”
That’s handy for those who just tuned in and may have thought that this whole tirade was about a
bad hair and bicep day.
That obsession with hair was already clear earlier. One of the tempters in his girlfriend’s villa would, for example, not stand a chance because he ‘doesn’t even have hair’. I can’t speak to that obsession with your hairstyle. My barber is my 20-year-old shaver that has to remove all evidence of a receding hairline every other week.
Self-reflection
I do recognize that obsession with muscle mass, although I don’t think I would be concerned with it if I thought I was about to lose my wife. However, there is hope on the horizon for Sidney. He himself already indicated that he is actually very insecure (that’s why I didn’t place this article in the ‘lose weight quickly’ category). That kind of self-awareness and self-reflection is necessary to recognize certain characteristics of yourself.
I would say: a little less attention to your hair and body and a little more attention to the crap (including the freestyles) that comes out of your mouth during a drunken stupor. That will probably get you a lot further.
