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I always thought it was a metaphor: doing dumbbell curls in the squat rack. Recently, however, I saw that the myth is real.
Doing Dumbbell Curls in the Squat Rack
If you’ve been around gyms for a while, you’ll surely know the expression: ‘Doing dumbbell curls in the squat rack.’ Preferably in the only squat rack in the gym. I long thought it was a metaphor for ways to unnecessarily occupy equipment.
However, I heard people claim that it was more than a metaphor. It would sometimes really happen that people literally did dumbbell curls in the squat rack. To my disbelief, of course. Why would you do that? Even the greenest newbie understands that it makes no sense, right?
But several people kept insisting that these kinds of characters actually exist. I wasn’t really convinced. “Superstition of the villagers,” I thought. The stories were almost never firsthand and the details were always vague. Once, I thought I got evidence when someone claimed to have taken a photo of a
squatcurler. However, the photo was blurry, dark, and shot from a distance. It could just as well have been a wolf, or Big Foot.
Squatcurler Spotted
Last week, I walked into the gym for a leg day. I queued up some songs on Spotify while walking to the squat rack. When I looked up again, I came to an abrupt halt. “Am I really seeing this?”. It wasn’t a mirage, no illusion, I saw a real squatcurler!
He seemed like a young adult male, but that’s hard to gauge with an unknown species. I was determined to learn more about this unique creature. Carefully, I crept closer, making sure to stay downwind, of course. After all, I had no idea whether this animal would react skittishly or aggressively to my sudden appearance.
I hesitated for a moment whether I should shout “Hey bear!” like in the woods in North America, to avoid being attacked by a startled bear. In the end, I decided to just approach the squatcurler calmly, quietly, and with open hands.
This was my ultimate chance to explain this strange behavior, and I couldn’t mess it up.
The Nature of the Beast
I waited until he finished a set. That took quite a while considering he was using 4kg dumbbells.
-“Sorry, can I ask you something?”. Of course, I had removed the bass from my voice to not come off as intimidating. The squatcurler turned to me and seemed not to make any attempt to flee or attack.
-“Uh, sure,” said a surprisingly normal voice.
-“Is there a reason you’re doing dumbbell curls in the squat rack?”
-The squatcurler looked around, as if he then just became aware of the metal frame around him. Then he nodded towards the wall in front of him and replied: “This was the only place with a big mirror”.
I had to let that answer sink in for a moment. Internally, I was shocked, of course, but I managed to keep a neutral expression on my face.
I’m glad I counted to 5 before responding. In retrospect, I thought my response deserved a beauty prize:
“How many more sets do you need to look at yourself in the mirror? I’ll squat on the dumbbell rack in the meantime”.
Forgive Them, for They Know Not What They Do
The 4kg dumbbells and the fact that it was clearly not yet a fully grown male work as mitigating circumstances. From someone with more experience in strength training, you would expect to know the function of the squat rack. You would also expect them not to need a mirror to do dumbbell curls.
The squatcurler is, of course, a unique and extreme example. When I still saw this as a metaphor, I had other examples that I encountered more often in the gym:
- Using the (only) double cable machine for an exercise with 1 cable, while there are multiple machines available for that.
- Placing the bench so close to the dumbbell rack that everyone who needs to pick up or put back dumbbells has to walk around you. Or wait patiently until you’re done with your set to grab those dumbbells you use as a footrest.
- Putting your towel, phone, and water bottle on the dumbbell rack. Of course, right where I wanted to put back my 55kg dumbbells.
- Setting the cardio machine to a strange language. And I don’t mean English.
- Using clips for machines where the plates can’t fall off
The list could go on like this, but I think it makes it clear what I meant by the metaphor. There was a time when I could still get annoyed by such things. After a few years of training at Basic-Fit, however, I have become immune to it.
