Geschatte leestijd: 2 minutenI have a date with muscle soreness, I hope. Whether she comes tomorrow or the day after, stays the whole week, or doesn’t show up at all, I don’t know. She has stood me up before.
Working harder and staying original
Although she only comes when I’ve worked hard enough, my effort is never a guarantee of her arrival. When I first met her, I didn’t have to do much to get her attention. Nowadays, however, muscle soreness expects more and more from me.
I have to work harder, do more, and stay original to keep her coming around. Every time I think, “I can’t do more than this,” I have to motivate myself to do that extra bit. I always have to make sure we don’t fall into a daily routine and keep the relationship exciting by constantly trying something new.
But even then, she sometimes leaves me for someone who hasn’t given her attention for a long time and has just started courting her again. A guaranteed method to make the new lover think she’s easy to seduce and thus increase his efforts.
The many faces of muscle soreness
When she is there for me, it turns out to be a love-hate relationship every time.
Muscle soreness can turn a young god into an old man. During the day at the gym, groaning like the Greek god Atlas: Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders while squatting. In the evening, groaning like an old man, just trying to sit dignifiedly on the couch and not collapse.
Muscle soreness can also offer you new insights. You probably didn’t know before that you use your left pec when you turn left-handed to the right in a car. Or your left shoulder when you would turn left. Suddenly, an automatic transmission becomes very attractive to keep both arms available. Especially when that right pec protests every time you have to shift into first, third, or fifth gear.
Muscle soreness can also be surprising. If you’ve forgotten that she was with you, she’ll remind you nicely. For example, by giving a push in your knees when you walk down a staircase, as if your calves have spontaneously given up. And just to rub it in, she jumps on your back at the next staircase, making every step feel like climbing Mount Everest.
“Muscle soreness is S&M”
Above all, however, muscle soreness can fill you with pride. When you roll down the stairs instead of walking down. When you crawl up the stairs instead of walking up. Even when every attempt to sit down for someone else looks like they used a strap-on the night before.
These are the physically painful moments that make your day because you know you’ve done what you had to do. You’ve worked hard for it, and your body lets you know you’re reaping the rewards. However, these are my only sadomasochistic feelings. After all, it would be a shame to stain a gluteus maximus built with hard work with whip marks.
Today I have another date planned with muscle soreness. I just trained legs, and my hamstrings just sent a text message looking forward to it. Now let’s see if she really shows up.
